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The Up's and Downs

Oh Joy

2/24/09 07:41 pm - Its been a while...wow 6 months or so...

So yeah once again it has been a while and people are bugging me to update this thing. 

So school will be the first subject to tackle...I graduate very soon May 8th!!  I am absolutely stoked about it!!!  I have been extremely dedicated to school this year and my focus is to graduate and to get a real job not Disney where we unfortunately get crap pay.  But in this economy its a job nonetheless.  So the countdown continues until i am out of school :-)  And i love my friends for bearing with me in the fact that i have no time on my hands right now...I LOVE YOU GUYS AND THE END IS NEAR!!!!

Work...what can i say?  Lol, i work at "the most magical place on earth" while i love the magical moments that occur with the job and from having the job, i am looking forward to getting out of there.  But i will have to say the cast magical moments are always the best :-) hahaha.  Been working on a few of them lately and corrupting a friend with them which always makes things interesting.  My coworkers/cast members, oh how i love them on so many levels!!!  I wont miss the job so much as the people.  i have met some of the greatest people there while others i wish i never met, lol.  There is drama with work but i try not surround myself around it or the people that cause it.

Relationships...always the complicated one...lol I am single, which who ever knows how long that will last...my record i think is 6 months and that was going into Drew.  Things just didnt work out we were dealing with the same issues over and over again and school is very important to me and i need to stay dedicated to it and a bf in the picture just wasnt working out.  So just staying friends.

Life...it has its ups and downs and i am focusing more on the ups than downs.  I have a lot going for me.  Things with the family are going decently...my parents and i are getting closer which is a good thing.  They are being very supportive of school as well.   I have the bestest friends ever!!!  We have so much fun together and i cant wait til i have more time to spend with them when out of school and only have to deal with work.  Its just around the corner and i smile everytime i see the vday bag from one of my friends.  Such a sweetie.  Anywho, i get to finish cleaning the apartment for tomorrow.  Until the next update (or til people bug me about updating again)....

3/28/08 04:32 am - Update on Life....

Ok, so yeah it has been a while once again...lol.  I suck at this and yet i sit here at 4:30 in the morning updating a stupid Live Journal so people will get off my back about it.  So in advanced, im sorry i havent had time to update this thing on a regular basis, life has been crazy as hell...So here goes....

Ok school...its ok.  Doing decently seriously over school and wish i was graduating in 5 weeks...but im not.  Added a second major which i am prolly turning into a minor or just dropping it all together cuz im just getting sick of school...lol.  So i will have that answer in the next few weeks or so....I have no time for anything with my course load and find myself working on school work everywhere at every chance i get in order to stay current.  Its what i do on my breaks at work, before classes, and at umteen hours of the night like now.

Family...not too much to say about that subject.  My uncle passed away exactly a week ago which sucks monkey balls...But out of that whole thing, i seriously love my cousins...they are like the brothers and sister that i never had.  The conversations we get into are just stupid and pointless and i love them.  We know our family is screwed up, everyone's is in a way and we accept it and basically make fun of it...lol  My relationship with my mom and Johnny has been changing, for the better ever since my brothers fiancee' is out of our lives or at least mine and not causing stupid drama.  Still havent spoken to my brother...he is getting married in Vegas in about 3 weeks, so good luck to him...Ummm...my dog had a stroke and passed away which sucks but she wasnt being treated right being at my brothers since his fiancee' still thinks of it as my dog and i am apparently a bitch...she'll get over herself one of these days.

Work...love my job, now has its quirks in it because someone is causing some seriously stupid drama.  But i dont care since she is a CP and will be leaving in about a month and a half.  So i really dont care, i love all the FT and CRs there (full timers and part timers or Casual Regulars) and the ICP's (Int'l College Program).  I am hoping to transfer and to become a part of the "Traditions Family" or actually the "Dream Squad" would also be nice.  So ill be heading to an information session sometime next week about transferring to do the Traditions course.

Relationships of all kinds....ok, no longer with Drew...dating someone new, a coworker actually (which is causing that aforementioned drama from that girl at work).  Dont care because the benefits are outweighing her stupid drama.  Just seeing where things go with it and getting a kick out of holly on how he makes my eyes turn green...lol...  Ummm...some friendships in my life have changed...some for better some for not really worse but just different i guess. 

So that about wraps up everything in a nutshell.  I spent spring break in London and Paris where i proceeded to break my foot, but i still had a blast.  Had some issues that could and should have been prevented but nothing is perfect.  So i proceeded to continue to walk on my foot for 3 more days and am now paying for it royally...lol.  And earned the nickname "gimpy".  Otherwise it was a blast and i look foward to going back there hopefully soon.  Thats all for this, my ass is going to go lie in my comfy ass bed...lol. 

Until next time....

Take Care....because there is a great big beautiful tomorrow...shining at the end of everyday....there's a great big beautiful tomorrow...and tomorrow is just a dream away...lol

2/20/08 03:45 am - Life....

Ok so yes, i must be out of my fucking mind to update this thing at like 3am...lol.  Well i am...lol, shocker.  Lets see, life has been crazy juggling work and school, i have like no time to myself so i find myself on my computer until about 4 or 5am everynight (or i guess morning in this case) doing school work and trying to stay on track with school.  Midterms are next week for me and i am dreading them to no end.  I am counting down until London and Paris with Holly and Alyssa, we are down to about 2 and a half weeks, i am stoked.  A week away from everything, especially school.  Work doesnt bother me much which is half strange.  I enjoy where i work and i love my cast members, we are random and just have a lot of fun during work.  Where else can you get paid to basically goof off?  I have been slacking royally with learning french, there just arent enough hours in a day to do everything that needs to get done.  Why cant there be 36 hours in a day?  My lease is almost up here, so now i have to find a new place to live in August.  Since i am prolly going to stick with the company for a while, i may move off of the 535, but who knows, i need to go look at housing and then figure out roommates since i dont know where holly and alyssa will end up (and neither do they...lol).  Things with the family are going awesome since all the excess baggage is out of our lives and we actually kinda get along, i know its hard to comprehend for me too.

My mind has been so overactive over the past few weeks it annoys the hell out of me...i cant sleep, or even rest for that matter.  Just cant seem to clear it from all the stress in my life right now, mainly school and crap.  Oh well, thats life i suppose, soon enough i will be out of school, i am still half kicking myself in the ass for adding a second major and having me be in school for one more year.  I am over school and seriously need a break from it.

Well thats about it for now, i am exhausted and still have more damn school work to do...until next time...

2/11/08 01:13 am - Update...

Well, again its been a while since i updated this thing.  Alot has happened yet again, hit my 90 days already with my new job.  Scary...lol.  I love my coworkers i have a blast at work which is always a good thing.  Taking 5 courses in school right now and learning French and working so i have a large load on my shoulders.  Things in my life have been changing rather rapidly and some have me questioning certain things in my life.  But as usual one way or another i will get through it.  Cant wait for spring break and going to london and paris.  Loved most of the CP's that i worked with in November/December and now they are gone with the exception of a select few and there are new CP's.  I kinda like the old ones better but i am giving the new ones a chance.  Hmmm, thats prolly about all ill say for now.  just have many things that i need to figure out in my mind and hopefully quickly.  Waiting for the infamous Vday with my hollerz again and alyssa, im sure it will be very interesting.  lol.  Thats all for now until next time gadget.

11/13/07 06:51 pm - Things Change

Well, its been like forever and a month since i updated this thing...like a real update...like 3 months or so...Well a lot has indeed gone down.  You do realize those people in your life that will always be there for you.  So probably about 3 people actually know almost everything that has been going on in my life...the rest basically don't know any extent to my life which how can you expect someone to be truthful with you when you aren't with them and keep your own life a total secret...so don't expect much from me if you don't put out yourself.  Anyways, school has been going good.  I am totally sick of it though...Been taking 5 courses...i think i am getting 4 A's and i don't know the last one.  Holidays are just around the corner so i have to start doing that shopping and hopefully these paychecks will come soon.  I quit Banfield it was a horrid place to work with my boss and certain co-workers who didn't want to do shit and i get the heat because they are lazy.  So that was a hell of a lot of stress out of my life when i quit it in September.  So now i have a new job and still stoked about it.  I am hoping to rank up major hours over winter break to get a good source of income to start off next year with.

Lets see...been with Drew for almost 8 months now.  Lost a decent amount of drama in my life in losing my brothers girlfriend.  She has been nothing but drama from the beginning.  Even my family is getting a hell of a lot better since she's no longer there causing drama and other problems.  So since October, my life has been on the upside.  I am stoked for this semester to be over already.  Senioritis is kicking my ass, but i am still trying to stay completely focused on school.  Thats about it for now...just taking a few to update.  until next time....

Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down...

9/4/07 02:16 pm

that girl, i know that girl she's cute and nice she's sweet and kind always respectful, always pleasant, eager to help, loving, sweet and caring motherly even though she is still a baby. her smile is contagious, and laughter infectious that will light up your day. but still she hides, in a way behind those eyes. i see her inner gaze... a wanting, a belonging, a need.... For what?... I can't say. she hasn't let me in that way. I can see in her eyes sometimes she just want to scream and say... "LEAVE ME ALONE" Inside wishing she could runaway, but still she puts on that mask that she has learned to use so well.... that mask that hides what she truly feels behind those eyes. Behind that smile, there is magic, behind those eyes, tears hide... I just want you to know that i've been there, but i don't want her to hide from me.. i know it hurts to bottle it up inside.. trapped, wishig to be free.. Just so she knows she can feel free with me

Do you remember, that girl? That girl so shy so reserved, that hid behind her glasses and some times still hides. Some how she has broken free, of so much that bound her to her past. That restrained her expression that set her bounds. I've seen passed the glasses I've seen through those eyes and some how still found the reflection of myself staring right back at me. Her laughter still contagious and Smile infectious, still needs but the have changed. Still longing to run, to fine her space, where she know she can truly be … That Girl, that girl, who still …behind that smile, there's Magic. Just want you to know I say I respect you, thank you, I love you, and I will always be here for you. I respect all that you have gone through and admire your strength. Thank you for all that you are. I love you what more can I say.

I will always be that girl to everyone

5/17/07 01:34 pm

So a great amount has happened since i last updated this.  I am back in school for the summer term so i can graduate on time in 4 years after changing my major my junior year to Health Service Administration and a minor in Health Science.  So i am happy that i can pull it off still in 4 years.  UCF...U Cant Finish can kiss my @$$!!!

Anyways, i just seriously want this roommate drama to be over with.  I mean we are SUPPOSED to be adults here but i guess some people just don't grow up.  Obviously i turned 21 as stated in a previous entry and spent it in Italy for 2 weeks.  I had a couple (3 in 2 weeks to be exact) drinks there (though it really didn't mean much since there is no drinking age there).  So on Saturday i had a shot and long island iced tea at Dave & Busters celebrating my birthday and didn't even get ID'd.  Lol! 

Lets see, my car is no longer "ghetto" which is nice!  So now i can get out of the car without rolling down the window.  I went on a job search yesterday and practically got hired on the spot, so i go in Saturday from 8am to 12pm for "observation" and i make sure i like the job before i start it.  I finally got my printer working with Vista after about 3 hours on the phone with Dell support and them messing with my computer.

So things in my life are still going pretty good.  I mean i still have a lot on my mind and i am still trying to make sense of a lot thats going on in my life.  And in someways i guess i just want someone to talk to who would understand, but there is no one right now that would or that wouldn't judge me...well i am not worried about the judging really as much as me actually putting myself out there and my feelings and stuff.  I just wish my life wasn't so complicated for once.  But i know its life and we need to deal with ignorance to know bliss and sadness to appreciate happiness.  It all happens for a reason to teach us things and to make us better people and stronger.

So thats about it, Grey's Anatomy Season Finale is tonight!! WOOOOOOOO!!!

4/9/07 11:22 am - Craziness

Ok, so it has been a little while since I updated this journal.  Well again, a lot has happened since the last entry has been posted.  For one I got a car :-).  Which is awesome, but now I have to find a job and stuff.  The only thing I am dreading about getting the car is the expenses that come along with it.  That’s going to kill me very much.  I have so much coming up and my bank account is going to basically be shot.  My trip to Italy is in 17 days.  I am very excited for that, I just know its going to be expensive…Then I have summer courses that bright futures doesn’t cover, so that’s going to take a huge chunk out of my bank account, then I have the car insurance and to pay off my bill that includes my passport and stuff for my trip.  So money is going to be very tight for a while.  And I don’t know what to do.  I really don’t want to take out a loan for my last year at UCF, but I might not have a choice.  I’ve gotten this far without taking out a loan and being able to make it seem like all the outings haven’t killed me financially but they have. 

Anyways, off to another subject…school is almost over, I think I am going to do pretty good this semester, which I am glad about.  My 21st is in 19 days, so I will be turning 21 in Italy and spending it with Lilly, so I am hoping that’s going to be a lot of fun.

Lets see, I also got myself in a relationship, which now I am half regretting.  I don’t know at first I thought it would kind of be different but now, I don’t know…I am starting to get over it, which would be the absolute quickest crash and burn relationship I have been in.  It hasn’t even been a week yet and I don’t know…its just something about it is bothering me and I have been cutting slack so much about it since he hasn’t done the long distance thing…but its not rocket science.  So whatever, I’m kind of over it right now, so I guess ill give it till I go back home and whatever happens, happens.  I just don’t think that he is the type for a long distance relationship.  Passover is over tomorrow after lunch which is such a relief, I miss my cereal in the mornings and I am getting so sick of hot dogs…I don’t know, I just kind of need to vent about a lot of things that are going on, they are just really bothering me, but I am not posting them here.  So the next few weeks will be interesting to say the very least.

3/16/07 12:27 pm

So it has officially been spring break and for most, its already over.  So I spent spring break down in Pines.  Sunday I went to my dad’s grave and it made me think about a lot of things in my life.  Monday I went to the dr. and stuff with Johnny dad and just hung around with him while he was at work and everything, then I got new wheels for my rollerblades (so now I wont have to rent skates when we go roller skating, since they are so stupid about you cant use your skates if you skate outside), and I got my passport photos taken and booked my flight to Italy.  Then Tuesday night I spent with Drew and hung out at his coworker Joelle’s house with her, her sister, and their friends.  That was pretty decent we watched movies and stuff.  I was glad I got to hang out with Drew while I was down here.  We really didn’t get to talk or anything like that , but I have yet to be able to understand or decode him.  Wednesday I was in downtown Miami all day getting my passport done and shit.  I was there all day and I forgot how much I hate downtown Miami.  Ugh, so creepy when you are there alone.  Thursday I just stayed home all day because we have issues with all the cars and stuff.  I also found out I have to buy a new laptop because the compressor fan on this one is broken and it will eventually either blow up or start a fire….comforting.  So I cant leave my computer on for long periods of time.  As usual plans for hanging out with Sean didn’t happen, I don’t care im over it and I told him I wasn’t surprised about it and whatever I don’t care.  I did find out that he has a gf which is good for him.  I am sick of the games and if it was earlier in the year I would have cared more but now I don’t.  I refuse to go out of my way for him if he wants to stay friends and stuff he has my number, if not, I don’t care.  That brings me to today…I called Drew at 12:30am to wish him a happy b-day, then we were going to hang out around 2am, but he never called me back so whatever.  I don’t know if I am going to see him today for his birthday, he says he wants to see me, but we will have to just wait and see.


So other than that things have been ok I guess.  I am now trying to figure out how I am getting home because the cars are all fucked for the most part so my ride up with my parents is no longer happening so I think I am going to fly up Tuesday or so.  We will see.  In a way I am dreading going back up to Orlando, but in a way I am glad to go.  Well that’s all for now, I need to shut down my computer so it doesn’t blow up.

2/26/07 10:27 am

So, I have yet to update this thing on a regular basis yet again...blah.  So things here are going ok.  Still have some drama going around, but its life and you kinda have to deal with it, so i just push it aside.  Drama is so not my thing.  On the other hand, i just spent the weekend in Sebring...i forgot how much i miss pines and orlando...that is freaking retirementville...i like civilization.  I won free tix to see the Braves play the Mets on the radio a week ago.  I am really starting to look foward to Spiring Break and spending it down in Pines.  Holly wants to come down and visit me which is awesome, she can finally meet the infamous Sean, Drew, Jason, and possibly Samantha.  Guys in my life are just kinda blah and confusing...i dont understand them, but then again i dont think we are supposed to...lol.  Other than that i have been having some issues that im not going to put in here so my mind has been on other things a lot lately.  I just dont know what to do about them...i have seriously tried everything and failed royally...and i know one way it would work which in a way is the easy way out but its very bad healthwise and otherwise and in a way can put my life in danger...which brings up is possibly putting my life endangered worth being able to overcome these issues or just take it how it lays...  Off of that subject...i saw someone i wasnt thrilled to see from my childhood over the weekend...which brought back horrible memories...it still royally scares me when those two are together and it seems that he has grown up some, but the fact of the matter is the other cant tell him NO...which is what scares me a lot.  But everytime i hear my brother talk about  him all i can think of is my childhood and the crap that they put me through.  But again, not getting into the details.  ugh, i need to stop writing in this before i disclose everything...so im done, i have too much crap on my mind and i just seriously dont know what to do...
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